Chibi in China
by DemonicMelody
Summary: (Formerly Chibified) Sima Yi's plan to turn Zhuge Liang into a chibi affects more people than he counted on! What chaos looms in the overly-large eyes of his victims?
1. Setting the Stage

**((A/N: Dynasty Warriors doesn't belong to me, nor do the characters! So no suing, please. HEY READERS! This story is NOT EVEN CLOSE to historically accurate, so don't beat me over the head about that. My first fic… let's see how it goes.**

**Oh, and THERE ARE NO CHARACTER DEATHS! So don't get freaked out by this chapter and stop reading, okay? THE FIRST CHAPTER IS REALLY BAD! So yeah, the other one's will be better, I promise.**

**I don't know why, but this story was wiped… but it's back now! Woohoo!))**

Chapter 1 – Setting the Stage

Sima Yi had to fight to keep his usual scowl as he sat behind Cao Cao. This was perfect! His best plan yet, according to calculations there would be just enough wine in the first jug to serve all but the Shu visitors, who would then be served the _other_ wine. Yes, this was marvelous!

Seated around the table were Cao Cao, Sun Ce, and Liu Bei. An odd mix, yes, but as a new threat arose, these three powers felt it necessary to form a new alliance. Behind Cao Cao knelt Sima Yi, dropping his head to hide his smirk; behind Sun Ce was Zhou Yu, staring daggers at Zhuge Liang; who sat placidly behind Liu Bei.

Well he wouldn't be so placid for long! Sima Yi rubbed his palms together.

"Wine?" Cao Cao's voice broke through, and he took forth the first jug- the _safe_ jug. He was about to pour some for himself, and then frowned darkly. After all, he had been warned about breaking alliances by way of ill manners. "Here, Sun Ce, why don't you drink first?" He passed the jug to Ce.

Sima Yi blinked, "My Lord, if I may make a suggestion-"

Cao Cao waved a hand at him, "Later."

Biting his lip, Sima Yi cringed. This simply _could not_ turn out well.

Sun Ce poured some wine for himself, and as he passed it to Zhou Yu, managed to spill it all over the marble floor.

Immediately Sun Ce apologized, blushing furiously.

Sima Yi leapt up, "Why that's fine, Lord Sun, I'll fetch another." He bustled out of the room and returned with the tainted jug in his hand, snickering.

He handed it down to Zhou Yu with a short bow, and then returned to Cao Cao.

Zhou Yu poured himself some, and passed it to Liu Bei. Liu Bei poured some for himself and Zhuge Liang, then handed it to Cao Cao.

Cao Cao shook the jug… ah, there was still some wine it it! Great! He poured himself some and offered some to Sima Yi. But Sima Yi claimed that he had been feeling rather ill- and that wine was about the last thing he needed.

"And so, My Lord, if I may-" Again Sima Yi was silenced by Cao Cao, who raised his own cup and said: "My friends, today we unite the Kingdoms long divided. May our conquest be successful!" And he raised the cup to his lips. All the others did the same, and Sima Yi looked pale.

But for a moment nothing happened. Cao Cao downed his cup and then said, "But remember, after we defeat this new threat that the author was not smart enough to name, I go back to loathing you all with the passionate heat of seven suns!"

There was a long silence at this, during which Liu Bei sniffled at the proposed return to hate. He opened his mouth for a choked-up response, but cut himself off as his strategist began to cough loudly.

Clawing at the collar of his robe, and clutching at his throat, Zhuge Liang managed to sputter out "P-poison…"

Liu Bei stared at Cao Cao as though the Wei ruler was none other than the devil himself, and then burst into tears. "How could you do this to me! I trusted you to host this meeting… now look what you've done! Oh you should be ashamed!"

Sima Yi's smile widened as Liu Bei's sobs turned to choking gasps. This was better than he had imagined! However something wiped the smile completely from Sima Yi's face.

"M-my Lord!" Sima Yi cried as Cao Cao doubled over with a fit of coughing. Zhou Yu had done the same, and Sun Ce gaped at him, shaking him by the shoulders.

There was a large 'poofing' sound, followed by a cloud of smoke, and both Ce and Yi stared in horror at the scene before them.

Sun Ce let out a sharp cry, and scrambled out the door, screaming bloody murder. Sima Yi, stunned, stared out across the chaos he had just created, and then bolted after Sun Ce.

"Wait! Lord Sun! It's not as bad as it looks! Honestly, it will wear off, I promise!!"

---

Cao Cao shook his head, "Well that was just plain freaky." He blinked and looked around. Everything seemed so much… larger than it had been before. In fact, he didn't even take up most of his silk pillow, but sat perfectly fitted in the center.

From under the table came the large-eyed face of Liu Bei. "This is vewwwwwy stwange." Liu Bei's voice sounded much different than usual, Cao Cao thought… but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The two perplexed leaders stared at each other when a muffled 'oof' caught their attention, and the they both crawled beneath the table towards the sound.


	2. The Madness Discovered

**((A/N: Yup, I still don't own Dynasty Warriors… though I AM working on a plan to remedy that… muwah hah hah hah hah! Beware, Koei… BEWARE!))**

Chapter 2 – The Madness Discovered

Though the halls of the Wei palace, light footsteps sounded out against the marble floor. The two Qiaos, alerted of their husbands' presences in the palace, had been treated as honored guests as well, and now strolled the halls in bliss- completely unaware of the mayhem that was about to be unleashed. Accompanied by but one hand-maid, the two walked contentedly towards the impending horrors that awaited them.

"D-D-DAAAA!!!!!" The scream bounced off the walls as Sun Ce came scrambling into view. He dropped to the floor at the two girls' feet- in complete hysterics, and attempting to tell the entire story at one time.

Xiao and Da managed to make out 'chased by an evil sorcerer' and 'Zhou Yu', other than that, he might as well have been speaking gibberish.

Xiao giggled, tugging on her sister's sleeve. "He's always like this, isn't he?"

The older Qiao sighed and nodded, smiling lightly. "I know how to handle this don't worry." Reaching up, she unfastened one of the lotus-bloom clips from her hair and bent down, holding it out before her panic-stricken husband's eyes.

"Oooohhh… Shiny," he stared at it.

"You want the clip, Ce?" Da teased gently, holding the hair-piece up high.

In response, her husband sat up straight nodding vigorously.

Da sighed and shook her head. It was a good thing she loved her husband so much… many people thought he wasn't quite the sharpest sword on the field. She couldn't say she disagreed. "Good boy! Fetch!" And she hurled the hair-piece out a near-by window, right into one of the palace gardens.

Sun Ce dove out the window after it, and Xiao jumped up and down- giggling and clapping her hands. "Your husband's sooo funny!"

Da smiled a bit, "I'm not sure if he's actually joking, Xiao."

Xiao frowned, pooching out her lip. "Oh _course_ he's just joking, Da! I mean, come on, _evil sorcerers_? Even Sun Ce wouldn't believe that!"

But at that moment Sima Yi, who had been in hot pursuit of Sun Ce, rounded the corner and found himself face-to-face with the two Qiaos.

There was a very long and awkward silence……………………… then Sima Yi turned, and whistled to himself as he made a hasty retreat back down the hall.

The sisters looked a him, and then at each other. In a flat instant both were scampering after him. But as they rounded a corner, they found themselves staring down an empty corridor- with Sima Yi no where in sight.

"Awww!!!" Xiao stamped her foot, "That's no-fair."

"Sh," Da held up a finger. "Listen."

Voices drifted out from down the corridor, one sounding out above the rest. "Get offa me! Get offa me!"

The two Qiaos cautiously made their ways towards the sound, and soon came upon an open doorway. Carefully, slowly, the two poked their heads inside and their hand-maid managed to glimpse between them.

Another awkward silence. This once of absolute shock.

Then Xiao broke the trance as she bounded into the room. "OH MY GOD, THEY'RE SO CUTE!"

The scene that lay before them was as follows- Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang were engaged in some sort of a wrestling match (of which Zhou Yu appeared to be winning), Liu Bei was attempting futilely to break up the fight, and Cao Cao sat some ways away- clapping his hands, and laughing.

Only… they were much smaller than they should've been, it seemed. Their faces were round, their eyes large and oddly sparkly.

All eyes fell upon the large lump behind some curtains on the other side of the room.

Silently, Da Qiao approached them, and pulled them back. Behind them was Sima Yi, blushing furiously with embarrassment.

"Um… I was just… making sure the drapes were stable…" he said, "You know… so that they- uh, don't fall! Yes, that's right. Because that's very important, you see…" he began to ramble on about how studies showed that people with loose drapes died earlier, but Da silenced him with a finger.

Xiao had plucked up the tiny Zhou Yu and held him out in front of her. "Aw, he's adorable!" She squeaked. "What are they, Lord Sima Yi? Dolls? How did you make them move?"

Sima Yi swallowed dryly, and Da frowned at him. It was uncommon to see her frown, but now she did. And she meant it too. "Yes, Lord Sima Yi," she said lightly, "What are they?"

Sima Yi choked a bit, "Um… they're… children?" He offered weakly.

Xiao looked at the others, "Ewww!!!" She cried, "Then why do those ones have beards?"

"Yes. Why do those ones have beards, Lord Sima Yi?" Da Qiao pressed her words against him a bit more forcefully. "Who are they?"

Sima Yi hung his head in defeat. "Lord Cao Cao, Lord Liu Bei, Lord Zhou Yu… and Liang," he admitted.

Xiao rolled her eyes, "That's not true, silly! Those men are much taller, everybody knows that!"

Sima Yi gulped, "No… I put something in their wine… they're 'chibi's now."

"Hey!" Xiao turned on the purple-garbed strategist. "Don't you try that Chibi junk with us, or we'll burn you again!"

"No, no, no…" Sima Yi moaned, "Not Chibi, _chibi_… oh, how am I going to explain this. They're not kids, their just cuter and smaller versions of themselves. It's a popular theme in Japanese anime, manga, and all such comical endeavors."

Da cocked her head, "How on earth did you find out about this? We're in CHINA, not Japan!"

Sima Yi shrugged. "Koei is Japanese." He said simply.

Sighing, Da turned to the hand-maid- who stood by the door covering her mouth with her hands. "Go and fetch Lady Sun and Lady Huang immediately." Da said.

The hand-maid nodded, and scurried quickly off.


End file.
